


Haru Haru(Day By Day)

by heartykeykeke



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Ongniel, Romance, Sickness, Slow Burn, big bang haru haru, bring your tissues, emotonal, happy ending i swear, slight ong hwang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 23:12:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartykeykeke/pseuds/heartykeykeke
Summary: Seongwoo finds out that his sickness has come back fiercely and he has not much chance to live on much longer. He devises a plan with his BFF Minhyun to make his boyfriend Daniel stop loving him so that it will hurt less when he dies. Minhyun doesn't approve but goes along with it since it's the wish of a dying man he cares about. Daniel believes that Seongwoo was cheating on him with Minhyun and leaves him and moves out of their place, spiraling out of control. Meanwhile Seongwoo is getting sicker and sicker, needing to be hospitalized.





	Haru Haru(Day By Day)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prettysmole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettysmole/gifts).



Hope your heart is relieved after leaving me  
Just forget me and live on  
Those tears will all dry up, yeah  
As day by day passes  
If we never met each other then it would have hurt less, mm  
The promise of us staying together is now a memory baby  
I’ll pray for you

Don’t look back and leave  
Don’t find me again and just live on  
Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories  
I can bear it in some way  
I can stand it in some way  
You should be happy if you are like this  
Day by day it fades away

Oh, girl, I cry, cry  
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye  
Oh, my love, don’t lie, lie  
You’re my heart, say goodbye

\--Day by Day(Haru Haru) by Big Bang

(author's note: largely inspired by the story in the mv, good to refresh yourself.)

 

“So, I’ll meet you at that café you like in two hours, okay?” the husky, deep, warm tone with the Busan accent could be heard purring out from the phone’s receiver.

“Sure. It seems like such a long time.”

Seongwoo sighed, gripping the cell phone and cradling it closer as if he could feel his boyfriend’s smooth skin through it magically. Although they lived together, he missed him every day that they had to be apart for their classes and part time jobs. Dance major Daniel was currently working at a pizza restaurant and acting major Seongwoo was leaving the class with his friend, Minhyun. They often went out for dates to keep their romance alive since it was possible for it to disappear after two years of dating nearly, half of which they had been living together.

Daniel chuckled, a sound that still magically sent shivers flowing gently like chocolate fondue down his spine, warming him with the sweetness. “I know just how you feel baby. I miss you too. I will be flying over there as soon as I can, literally. I put wings on my board.”

“Don’t rush please. Be careful. I don’t want to see any more scratches.”

Daniel disliked spending money on public transportation. He rode his skateboard everywhere and saved that money for the trip to New York they were planning. Seongwoo had always wanted to go there and see his older sister again. Daniel was fine with traveling to any country as long as he was with Seongwoo, or so he had cheesily said several times which made Seongwoo blush furiously every time. Daniel was the romantic sort that blurted out movie-worthy lines naturally and then died of embarrassment after he realized what he had let slip out while Seongwoo cracked up laughing and later teased him about.

“It was literally the size of a fingernail, Seongwoo-ya. I didn’t even feel it. I didn’t even know it was there honestly.”

“Then you should be more aware before you come back home with half a finger gone!” he snapped in aghast at how his soul had slipped out of his body for a moment then seeing his boyfriend with blood allover his hands.

“Oh, come on, now. Don’t start exaggerating again. I would know if I lost a finger.”

“I’m not. You really wouldn’t notice I think. Because you’re a dumb puppy!”

“Hey, now. My break time is up. I can’t do this cat-dog fight just yet, pussy cat. Save your insults for later.”

Daniel was chuckling even though Seognwoo was sincerely concerned about him. That did honestly irritate him. However, his love for the blonde Busan b-boy/skaterboy with the killer smile and lovely dimples and mandu cheeks trumped all other feelings the instant the negative ones started popping up. Like when kneading dough, the lumps and indents from fingers just flattened right out as the fluffy layers were piled on top of each other. He just couldn’t stay angry at Daniel when he knew just how to smooth out his ruffled feathers.

“Alright. Have a good day.”

“You have a great day too, baby. See you soon. I love you more than existence itself.”

Daniel then kissed the phone several times. Seongwoo flushed and glanced over at Minhyun who was making a ‘yuck, please don’t do that sort of thing in front of me’ face. He put his hand over the phone and turned the opposite way, whispered he loved him back even more, kissed the phone just once lightly and then hung up. Doing that made them both super embarrassed so he didn’t know why Daniel insisted on ending their calls like that each day. As if they didn’t kiss each other or express their love verbally a hundred times at least at home every day.

“Glad to see you guys are doing well as per usual. Not a single rainy day in Ongnielsville. Are you really okay being all lovey dovey like that, even in public though?” Minhyun asked curiously, wincing.

Seongwoo smiled wide and nodded at the taller, dark-haired man that looked like a handsome, intelligent fox. “I am okay with it, mostly. And you should be used to it. You have seen it possibly the most since you’re friends with both of us.”

“Ah, that’s true. How did I end up friends with you weirdo extortionists again?” he teased, tapping his chin with a smirk.

Seongwoo snorted and pushed him. “We’re hardly that level, Min. In public, at least we don’t—”

Seongwoo felt dizzy as Minhyun dodged away from his hold. He was falling forward and Minhyun was reaching out to grab him before he hit the asphalt. He was in a panic but he could hardly control any inch of his body to right himself or protect himself from being injured on important parts. His vision went totally black as he tumbled through the air towards the ashy colored doom. Something was terribly wrong.

 

 

Seongwoo woke up with a headache, fuzzy vision, and his body aching all over, especially his arms. He sat up and blinked, feeling dizzy and confused as he put all his brain energy into re-focusing his vision. Once he was able to see a bit clearer, he realized he was wearing a gown, lying in a small bed in a white room which had to be in a hospital, with an IV tube full of yellowish liquid running into his arm.

“Hmm? What’s this…?” he asked weakly, his voice extra parched and cracking when he tried to say more.

“Seongwoo…” Minhyun appeared by his side, taking his hand and looking pale as a ghost. Puffy, red eyes and sniffles showed that he had been crying for however long he was out of it.

“Why…am I …here? What…happened…?” Seongwoo rasped out, touching his throat which was feeling sore and scratchy. It was incredibly hard to talk.

Minhyun asked the nurse to bring him water and then helped Seongwoo drink from the cup.

“You passed out on the street suddenly. I heard this isn’t the first time? What’s going on Seongwoo? You mean to say that you have been sick this whole time I’ve known you?”

Seongwoo winced at the hurt in his friend’s voice. No-one knew about his past struggles with this old, rare sickness that made him dizzy, faint, and lose control of his muscles, leaving him nearly paralyzed and having difficulty to speak after an episode. He hadn’t had an attack in so long he had almost forgotten about it. He should have heeded the doctor’s warning that it could come back some day even years and years later.

“Um, it’s difficult to explain. I’ll tell you after I hear from the doctor. Can you get them?”

“Sure, if you are sure you are going to be alright. We haven’t been here that long. I was going to call Daniel but it seems your phone is out of battery. If we don’t get ahold of him or get you home soon, he’s really going to worry. He might be waiting for you at the café all night.”

“Ah, I’ll deal with that. The doctor, please…”

Seongwoo pushed against Minhyun’s arm with the strength he could muster and smiled cutely, not revealing what he was feeling or thinking which was much more complex and darker. If he was here, that could only mean one thing. His sickness was back and it was worsening at a rapid rate. The doctors he had met before said that in the case that his condition grew worse than it had been previously, he was going to need surgery and the surgery was rather dangerous with low success rates. He was terrified to talk to the doctor but it was of the utmost concern.

 

 

Seongwoo and Minhyun were both shell-shocked after hearing what the doctor had to say. Seongwoo had wanted Minhyun to leave because he didn’t want him involved in this stressful, depressing part of his life but Minhyun refused to leave his side, insisting that he’d be there for Seongwoo in Daniel’s stead. Indeed, his condition was worse and the time before the surgery should occur was shorter than he had thought. That didn’t leave him much time to get things in order in case of the worst-case scenario and it hardly gave him time to properly say goodbye to Daniel. He didn’t want Daniel to know about this because it would bring their moods down and he certainly didn’t like the idea of leaving Daniel all alone in that house forever pining for him if he didn’t make it through the surgery.

Seongwoo grasped Minhyun’s hand tightly and looked up at him with pleading, cat like eyes. “Minhyun…I need you to do me a favor.”

Minhyun’s eyes were full of tears as he looked down at him and nodded. “Sure, anything…”

“One, I need you to keep this from Daniel…”

Minhyun hesitated, then bit his lip after getting ‘the look’ from Seongwoo. He nodded regrettably. “I don’t think it’s a good idea because he has a right to know and he will be furious later when he finds out before surgery…”

Seongwoo stared down at the IV sticking out of his pale, thin arm, hot crocodile tears slipping down his cheeks. “He’s not going to fond out though. Because he’s going to hate me and not hear anything from or about me every again.”

“Huh? Daniel would never hate you. He adores you.” Minhyun sounded confounded.

“He does as I do him. Which is why I have to break his heart. And you are going to be the cause.”

“Neh?!”

 

 

Daniel was at first concerned while he was waiting inside the café without a word or response from Seongwoo. Then, he was furious. Finally, he was flat out panicking after two hours. He rushed around outside before just going home. It was starting to rain after all and it was now pitch-black outside. He was hoping that something had happened and his phone was lost and so he’d just gone back home, knowing eventually Daniel would be there.

He stopped when he saw a car parked outside their apartment building. They didn’t have a car and neither did many of the people there since they were all college students. As he grew closer, curiously gazing at it for some unknown reason, he realized he knew that model. It was the same brand as Minhyun’s car, and the same color. In fact, on closer inspection with the lights on inside, he saw Minhyun inside of it…with Seongwoo. Minhyun had his arm around Seongwoo and they were talking.

Daniel felt relieved for a moment that Seongwoo was safe, figuring Minhyun had found him wondering around, maybe lost and without a phone or without battery and taken him home. That’s the moment when his heart stopped and he lost all control of his train of thought and the lid on his pandora’s box of negative emotions burst open. Seongwoo looked at him blankly, completely ignored his wave, then turned to Minhyun and…

Kissed him square on the mouth.

Minhyun leaned forward when they broke contact and…

Kissed him back. They were running their hands through each other’s hair and kissing over and over again, switching angles and bumping noses. Lips were smacking, tongues were flaying, teeth were clashing and nibbling. They were going at it right in the front seat under blaring lights for the whole neighborhood and him to see like it was some sort of show.

Daniel was frozen, watching the love of his life making out with their mutual friend. He felt like his heart shattered into a million pieces and splashed into the puddles of rain around his feet. Tears immediately spilled out and his knees grew weak like he was about to drop down on the ground, his hands balling into furious fists, his nails digging into his palms painfully. The emotion that followed the intense shock and sadness was fury at their betrayal, gall, and inconsideration of his feelings having him find out this way.

“What…the fuck?”

 

 

(A few minutes earlier)

 

“He could be here any moment. Put your arm around me,” Seongwoo commanded Minhyun, then forced him to do it with a frustrated groan, snuggling into his side like a skinny squirrel burrowing into its nest.

Minhyun didn’t feel anything about it besides intense guilt and concern. Seongwoo was a friend he cared for, but Seongwoo was not someone he was ever interested in in that way. Honestly, he thought this plan of Seongwoo’s was crazy. He was worried about Daniel’s reaction. The man was known to be possessive, aggressive, and have a bit of a fiery temper already.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t get your reasoning…”

Seongwoo leaned on his shoulder and sighed as he stared out the rainy window, not able to see much since they had the lights on inside the car on purpose for Daniel to see them together well when he came back to their home. Minhyun really wasn’t getting a good feeling about this. It felt like it was his first show and also the curtain call. Daniel was likely to grind him into dog food.

“It’s for the best. Imagine you had a cat. Would you rather think the cat ran away or got hit by a car?”

Minhyun wasn’t sure where he was going with this or how Seongwoo could possibly sound so calm and sure after what he was going through and about to do. He was a lot stronger mentally than Minhyun had given him credit for all this time. “Er, I guess running away is better.”

“Why?” Seongwoo pressed gently.

“Because I would think ‘ah I wasn’t doing good enough, that’s why they left’ and hope that the cat found a better owner than me and was happy and healthy and safe somewhere.”

“Exactly. I’m that cat.”

“So you are running away?”

“Yes, but not because I’m scared. I just want to protect him from the pain of losing me.”

“He still will be in pain, you know. Because he’s still losing you, just to me.”

“It will hurt less for him to think I was cheating on him because he wasn’t treating me well enough than if some cruel fate stole me away that there’s nothing we could do about. He will be able to get over me faster and he won’t be left with a cold shoulder, feeling bitter towards the universe the rest of his life. Either way, whether it’s from this moment or in a couple months, I’m not going to be able to continue on as a part of his life. That’s the cold, hard, depressing truth.”

Minhyun sighed and bumped his head against his friend’s in frustration. “Seriously, Ong Seongwoo. It’s not like there isn’t hope—”

Seongwoo interrupted him with sudden urgency, smacking his knee. “Shh, he’s there. He saw me. Kiss me.”

Minhyun shook his head and moved as if to take his arm off Seongwoo’s shoulders. “No, I don’t think this is a good idea, on second thought, Seongwoo. I can’t do this for you. It’s just st—"

Seongwoo grabbed the back of his neck and forced him closer as he pressed forward. His lips met smack on with his. Minhyun sighed, having no choice but to kiss back at this point. This idiotic scheme of theirs had started the moment Daniel saw this and there was not going to be any easy getting out of it for now.

“Be more convincing, with tongue!” Seongwoo snapped, pinching his side.

“Ouch, hmm!”

As soon as Minhyun’s mouth opened to exclaim about the pain this brat of a friend of his had caused, he was having it stuffed with the other’s tongue. Seongwoo’s kiss was desperate and wet and not the least bit sincere or nice. They clearly had no attraction to each other and Seongwoo was forcing himself to do this by acting like he was really into it though he detested the idea absolutely.

Minhyun wondered why Seongwoo was going out of the way to hurt himself and make himself seem like the asshole of the century just for Daniel. Daniel must really mean more than the entire world to him or was the center of his entire universe. Now that world was crumbling and gravity caving into crush the into oblivion. He could feel it in the shaking of his lips and finger tips and the resistance of his entire body to Minhyun’s touch.

Suddenly, the door was opened and Daniel was there. Minhyun had never seen such a murderous expression and immediately prayed to survive this night somehow. He grabbed Minhyun out of the car and threw him on the ground, straddling him and punching him hard in the cheek.

“You prick! You son of a bitch! You fucking slimy two-faced bastard! How fucking dare you do that with Seongwoo, MY Seongwoo! You boyfriend stealing betraying disgusting snake!” he shouted as he punched and shook Minhyun until Minhyun was spitting blood and no longer had the energy to struggle to get the bulky blonde off of him. All he could do was think that he deserved this and it was exactly as he had suspected and he was seriously regretting doing Seongwoo any favors.

“Daniel, stop!”

Seongwoo who had been watching the scene in a daze with a blank expression and tears streaming down his face finally wiped his tears and stepped out of the car. He felt like he had to do something before Minhyun ended up terribly hurt which wasn’t fair. Daniel took one look at him, the betrayal and confusion and fury mixed over his handsome, rain-soaked features.

“Tch. So you protect him? I guess he’s the one you choose then…” he scowled and then spit on the ground near Minhyun’s head. “Fine, be with him then if that’s what you want. He’s not so pretty anymore though.”

Then, he gave Minhyun one last punch in the gut and climbed off, his hands fisted and his shoulders tensed. He didn’t take a single look at Seongwoo again as he stormed into the building.

Seongwoo helped Minhyun into the car, using some tissues in the glove box to wipe off the blood, mud and rain.

“Are you alright? I wasn’t expecting…” Seongwoo murmured in half shock, half concern.

Minhyun scoffed, half smiled and laid back on the head rest. “That was exactly what I was expecting and why I was saying this idea was stupid, Seongwoo. It just hurt more and I ended up looking like a total wimp more so than I thought. Your boyfriend’s muscles are really not for show.”

“Sorry…You should go home and ice it. I will go in now…” he murmured softly, dabbing at the swelling, bloody cuts and gravel marks on Minhyun’s face with the corner of a clean tissue.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Have you really thought this through, Seongwoo? If you go in now, I’m certain you guys will have a fight and break up. This is your last chance to stop this insanity and hurt yourself…”

Seongwoo stared at the bandage covering his arm where the IV had been earlier, recalling the doctors words. The chances to survive the surgery were slim but his family had long ago agreed to take the risk in order not to lose him no matter the cost. He had to go through with it according to their wishes. After all they had done for him, he couldn’t give up on his life completely, even to prolong the time with the one he loved.

Minhyun watched Seongwoo look outside with a determined look, any trace of his tears currently gone. It was admirable how he stuck to a goal once he made up his mind. It was also foolish. Foolish, poor, sick, soon to be ever so heart broken and all alone dealing with the surgery preparation and his worsening condition, Ong Seongwoo. Minhyun decided he was going to stick by his side at least. He couldn’t let the man deal with this all on his lonesome.

“I have to do this. I’m going to.”

Minhyun pulled Seongwoo into a fierce hug. “Sorry that this has happened to you both. You deserve better. I’m really sorry…” he murmured, sniffling as tears stung his eyes and dripped onto some cuts, stinging miserably.

Seongwoo patted his back. “It’s not your fault, Minhyun. We were just too happy all this time. Unhappiness was bound to boomerang back at us several times over. That’s just the way this shitty world works. We all like happy endings but in the real world that hardly ever happens.”

“I will still pray for that miracle then.”

Seongwoo replied bitterly as he thought about all that he was about to lose that was precious to him in the blink of an eye because this devilish sickness was back completely out of the blue, “You can try, buddy. But I don’t believe in miracles, not anymore. That me died earlier today.”

 

 

The room was dark when Seongwoo went inside. He smelled whisky. Daniel was on the couch, drinking from a bottle while watching the storm outside their veranda window. The burn was the only thing that could sooth the boiling rage, panic, and hurt in his soul. They were both oddly silent, the air tense and stale. The only sound was the wind and pattering rain.

“So…how long has it been?” he asked, his voice tense, low, and just the beginning of slurred.

Seongwoo kept his tone flat, quiet, and devoid of any emotion so as not to be caught in the middle of scene two of this movie. “It just happened.”

“Do you like him a lot? More than me?” Daniel sounded wounded and insecure.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Daniel sighed and took a long drink from the bottle, glaring out the window. “Are you going to keep seeing him?”

Seongwoo bundled his shirt, gulped, and pressed out the words that would be the final slam on their shaky relationship. “I might.”

His lips tightened and his expression further darkened. “You know that’s cheating right? Or have we been in an open relationship this whole time I just didn’t get the drift? Have there been others?” he growled.

Daniel was looking at him but he avoided looking at him, not sure if meeting his eyes or seeing his face full on would give hints to what was really going on or how he was feeling. “No, no others. I wasn’t planning on being in an open relationship or with anyone else. It just happened that once. But I didn’t dislike it.”

Daniel’s voice was heavy and calm, like the weather felt suffocatingly humid before a storm. “What do you want me to do? You want me to leave? You want to break up?”

Seongwoo shrugged. “I want you to do what you like. And I will do what I like. As we’ve always done.”

“Yah, Ong Seongwoo!”

Seognwoo jumped as Daniel shouted and tossed the glass across the room, shattering it against the wall. He bit his lip not to burst into tears right then. Not once in the years they had known each other or any of the times he had fought had Daniel spoken or acted like this. It was terrifying and it also killed him knowing that he had hurt this angelic, loving, selfless, sweet man to this extent.

“Do you not love me anymore? Is that it? You don’t need to go sneaking around my back in that case. If you are tired of me and you like Minhyun, just say it. Is it me or him? Just be honest.”

Seongwoo didn’t say anything for a long time. He wanted to say those words. Daniel needed to hear him say one way or the other to decide what he need to do about it. If he said that he didn’t like Minhyun, then he was worried he was going to spill out the whole plan and rush into the safety of his lover’s arms he missed terribly to the point he was aching with his entire being. If he said that he did, then he would lose the love of his life. Daniel would storm out this room likely and never see him again. He somehow couldn’t do that either, though that had been his plan all along and it was what he needed to do right now.

The crushing loneliness he got a glimpse of right before he did it and seeing the damage of the hurt he was causing Daniel made him stop in his tracks. He couldn’t break up right then. He was more of a coward than he thought.

“I can’t…talk to you know. Later. I don’t know what to say. I need time to myself to think. Just…sorry…” Seongwoo whispered, hardly audible and shaky at the very end, his voice choking as tears filled up about to burst like a dam.

Daniel’s expression was dark, pissed, and his tone was like dry ice, leaving cold burns in its wake. “Sorry? Sorry! I catch you doing that and all I get is a sorry with no explanation or plan for what you want next, huh? This is so fucking unbelievable. Seongwoo, just fucking go to bed. I don’t want to see you right now. I’m so pissed that I cannot be held accountable for what I might end up doing to you at this point. For your own safety’s sake, just go in the bedroom and I’ll stay out here. Go!”

Seongwoo rushed to their bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it with his hand over his heart. He clutched the fabric, his lips quivering, his breath coming in shallow gasps, his eyes stinging, his entire chest burning and ripping him apart from the inside out. This was the most excruciating pain he had ever experienced. He would take the surgery without anesthesia compared to this any day now that he knew how it felt. He had no idea hurting Daniel and being on the brink of losing him would hurt so terribly.

It was then that he realized the saying was all too true: ‘you don’t realize how much you love and need something until it’s gone.’ His loving, sweet, attentive, caring, understanding, cheerful, and giving Daniel that held him together in all dark, troublesome times in his life the past couple years was gone like that.

Daniel could be heard throwing things, kicking furniture and walls, cursing and crying in dreadful anguish in the living room. It added to Seongwoo’s pain as he sank down and curled up in a heap on the floor in the middle of a panic attack, sobbing his eyeballs out and banging on his chest that constricted tightly over the mangled, rapidly beating black lump that used to be his heart.

 

 

Seongwoo went out of his way to avoid Daniel the next week because he didn’t want Daniel to see the evidence of his sickness which could suddenly appear and was very difficult to hide. He forced Minhyun to follow him around and practically live at their place. Daniel slammed things around angrily in the morning and only casted hurt, angry glances at him in the morning. At night, he stayed out drinking and came back at dawn.

They still slept in the same bed at Seongwoo’s insistence because their couch was full of painful broken springs, sometimes waking up to see that they had rolled into each other and started cuddling as a force of habit. Luckily, Seongwoo distanced himself before Daniel woke up most of the time. Not this morning though. He held Seongwoo tight around the stomach and hummed as he sniffed his hair and then kissed the nape of his neck before Seongwoo was able to slip away, not ready to give up the wonderful, comforting feeling he’d been missing terribly.

“Seongwoo…” Daniel grumbled.

“Yes…?” Seongwoo answered despite he had planned to just feign sleep.

“I love you. Do you know that? I love you so damn much…”

Seongwoo figured Daniel must be sleep talking. It felt great to hear those words. His heart was soarcing with the doves in the sky. How long it had been and how much he had missed it. Three little words they had said every day that held so much meaning and he had taken it for granted. Those three blessed words that he was terrified he would never hear again before his light faded out.

“I do…” He did, and he felt the same hundred of times over even.

“But you love foxes now instead of puppies, huh? What can I do about that…I should let you go but…it hurts, Seongwoo. It hurts…I hate the idea of being without you. I miss you baby…” he whined softly, his tone genuinely somber and baby like.

Daniel was clutching him so tightly now he could hardly breathe. His lungs felt like they were about to cave in as a heavy weight pressed down on his chest. He felt a panic attack rising again. He burst into tears, covering his sobs with his hand and willing his body not to shake so much that it woke Daniel all the way and he realized that he was crying. Seongwoo crying was completely Daniel’s weakness. All of his anger would fade and him forcing distance between them would disappear in an instant like popped bubbles as soon as he was in a conscious Daniel’s comforting arms which he would undoubtedly find impossible to resist. He was a weak person and Daniel was strong and protective, in many more ways than just one.

“I’m pissed at you though. And I hate you. Go be with that jerk. You two cheaters deserve each other.”

Like that, Daniel was back to his angry, bitter, hateful self these days, his tone turned clip and icy. He pushed Seongwoo away onto his stomach and rolled to the opposite edge of the bed. He had turned cold again like he had been cast under Elsa’s spell. The Daniel that he loved and made his resistance weak was gone. Thankfully but also regrettably. The end of Ongniel was truly inevitable it seemed.

His panic attack continued at a more intense level, causing him to move to the floor and curl up with the sheets and pillows to go unheard. Alone drowning and suffocating in his pain, fear, guilt, and loneliness. Alone, alone, every day alone for the rest of eternity…

 

 

One day when Seongwoo returned home from work, Daniel was waiting in the kitchen, drinking water with a packed suitcase next to him. It was the one that he had brought when he first moved in with Seongwoo, full of pretty much nothing but clothes. Seongwoo’s heart was breaking all over again but he pulled out his best acting skills to look indifferent as he left the door open and walked towards the living room.

“You’re leaving? Good to see you drinking something that’s not alcoholic for once. I guess I should change the locks.”

Daniel scoffed. It was a dark, bitter, scornful sound that was nothing like who he had known up until awhile ago. Seongwoo wondered what he had done to that bright, cheerful, positive man that he was like this all day it seemed. He hoped that he hadn’t ruined Daniel’s personality forever. Because that was the best part about him, not even taking second to his amazing looks and fit body. He was the sort of person that could light up a room and make any depressed, grumpy person crack a grin. Now it appeared like he hadn’t smiled in years, maybe like he didn’t even know how.

In fact, the way that he looked these days was almost scary. Hot and intense, but rather terrifying. As if he was a bomb that could be set off at any second, possibly because he was almost always some level of drunk and ticked off. Seongwoo hoped he at least wasn’t like that at work or he was probably going to end up being fired, which would just be a mountain of salt in his wounds.

“If you still love me, then try to stop me.”

Daniel took a few steps and hesitated, looking back at Seongwoo with surprise and hurt. Seongwoo forced himself not to look at him but at the ground instead, not taking a step in his direction. He should say that he didn’t anymore just as Daniel suspected but he couldn’t force himself to get it out. He couldn’t make a sound. He was holding his breath, his whole body tense and shaking, on the verge of possibly the worst panic attack yet to come.

“Fine, I get it. Have a good fucking life without me,” Daniel growled.

Without waiting to hear if he would respond, he assumed what Seongwoo was saying non-verball and officially ended their relationship. The door slammed. The last red thread of the once thick string connecting their hearts snapped. Seongwoo winced. His vision started going blurry and at first he thought it was from the tears he couldn’t hold back anymore that spilled out like a broken dam as he finally came face to face with the fiercest of the pain and cold reality of the true, irrevocable loss of the man he loved more than himself.

It wasn’t until he was clutching at his chest and staring up at the ceiling from the cold hard floor, unable to move except to hit the emergency call button that he was having another episode. A severe one. Though the physical pain of this attack was nothing compared to the deeper, eternal one he was experiencing.

 

“How are you feeling today? Think you can go out to the park today at least? I saw that your favorite ninja squirrel was around.”

Minhyun set down the steaming, grainy, milky white porridge that was Seongwoo’s daily breakfast and kissed his forehead lightly, brushing his silky, dark brown bangs. Seongwoo smiled and thanked him but it wasn’t the sort of smile that made his dimples pop out or his freckles dance or his pretty eyes crinkle into half-moons that Minhyun saw most of the time he’d been friends with him. The reason for that smile was long gone. This sick, dispirited version was a zombie, practically half dead and waiting for the end to come quickly as if he had given up on the rest of his life.

Two months had passed since the episode that caused Seongwoo to become bed ridden. He was no longer attending classes because he was practically crippled he was so physically weak and no one knew when he would be attacked with dizziness and have a fainting spell. Minhyun was taking a break to take care of him at his home along with some nurses until…well, at least until the date of the surgery for now. He hoped that there would still be an Ong Seongwoo in this world after that for him to care for during recovery.

Seongwoo hadn’t heard from Daniel since the day that he left the apartment. Minhyun had bumped into him a couple times and it was nasty. He lied to Seongwoo that Daniel seemed better and that his scratches and bruises were from falling on some stairs. He hoped that Seongwoo believed him so that he wouldn’t feel so crushingly guilty for the pain and destructive path that Daniel was experiencing because of what he thought they had been doing behind his back.

Daniel was convinced that they were dating now, probably having seen Minhyun go in and out of Seongwoo’s apartment. Minhyun had seen how the break up and worsening sickness had worked quickly to tear Seongwoo down. He was a breathing zombie at this point, sitting in his bed, staring at poetry books he used to love reciting with Daniel, or staring out the window, silently crying with a totally blank face as if he didn’t know who or where he was anymore, just that he was incredibly unhappy with no end to that unhappiness in sight.

Minhyun tried unsuccessfully several times a week to convince Seongwoo to make up with Daniel, to tell him about his sickness and confess that they were never in a relationship and their kiss had been an act to drive him away. He knew that Seongwoo needed Daniel more than any treatment and care this hospital or he could give and he hated to see him spend possibly the last moments of his life without him.

Seongwoo proved to be incredibly stubborn, insisting that he had made the right decision and he was doing this all for Daniel’s sake. Minhyun had once nearly broken down in sobs, asking him what about doing something once for his own sake. Seongwoo had responded that Daniel always had and would be more important than himself and he couldn’t act selfishly when it came to him. Daniel would have done the same exact thing for him, he insisted. Minhyun couldn’t argue as their love was as intense and beautiful as it was tragic.

“Ah, right. Surgery is tomorrow, huh? Time passed by faster than I thought…” Seongwoo murmured as he absently mixed the porridge around with that usual emotionless look.

“Do you have anything you want to do on your last day? You know there’s still time to go see him if you want…” Minhyun hinted softly, petting the back of his head and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You know my answer to that. A day of stress and more tears wouldn’t be good for me anyway. He wouldn’t forgive me that quickly for us to actually enjoy a reunion. It’s been several months that I’ve made him suffer now with this misunderstanding. I wouldn’t likely forgive him for weeks more and we don’t have the luxury of more time.”

Minhyun sighed and hugged him, resting his chin on his head that sadly had less luscious hair and more sunken in, pasty skin than before. “Aigoo, stubborn Ong Seongwoo, what to do with you…”

Seongwoo reached up with his weak, pale, bruised all over from the daily IV needles arm and brushed Minhyun’s arm. “Just…pray for me. That’s all anyone can do now.”

“Okay, I’ve been doing that a lot already. I’m used to it.”

 

 

(At that same time)

 

“What am I doing here again? I guess I’m a masochist. I just keep volunteering to stab my dead, bled out heart a few times more, don’t I like a sicko…” Daniel sighed.

Minhyun had just gone into Seongwoo’s building, carrying breakfast. Daniel wondered for a moment why Seongwoo wanted porridge so often as he was usually more of a fan of rice and fish. He debated about if he should go to work since he was on his last warning or just get fired and go to the bar and drink all day, drowning away his pain like he often did. The numbness was the only way he could sleep alone in the tiny, smelly, run-down guest house he was staying at.  
He sat down on the curb and stared at the apartment that he used to call his home which housed the man he once thought of as the love of his life inside.

“Are you happy? Is he treating you well? Is he giving you a lot of affection? Lifting heavy things for you? Cooking for you? Killing the bugs for you?” he muttered to himself.

Daniel was full of regrets these days. Rather than being angry at those two, he was terribly angry at himself. For ruining the best thing that had ever happened with him, his relationship with an angel. He had a lot of time to reflect on why Seongwoo had started something with Minhyun. It must have been that he was lacking something and he gave Daniel hints but he didn’t pick up on it.

He thought of Seongwoo as a good man through and through. He wouldn’t have just been cheating on him for no reason. He wasn’t at all the player sort. Daniel was only his second boyfriend ever. It took him over a month to get over being hurt, shocked, betrayed, and pissed to sort through that much. Hopefully, Minhyun was doing a better job because Seongwoo was an angel in human form that deserved the whole world. Daniel just hadn’t been cutting it.

“Why couldn’t it still be me by your side, baby? What was I doing wrong? Did I really just miss all the warning signs? If I could have, I would have fixed everything for you. I miss you…”

He hugged his knees and laid his chin on top, pouting as he looked at the window of their old bedroom. Minhyun and Seongwoo were probably in there now, snuggling and kissing in the blankets that they had picked out together that were a mix of both of their favorite colors. He was feeling homesick terribly and incredibly lonely.

He whined pitifully into his jeans, burying his head in anguish at what has become of him and how foolish, pathetic, and uncool he looked right then. Losing Seognwoo had made him a complete mess and his life was in shambles. He was tempted to cry but at some point his tears had dried up or he’d forgotten to. The sadness was on a whole deeper level that wouldn’t be relieved by crying.

 

 

“Ah, it hurts! F-!”

Daniel covered Jaehwan’s mouth with his hand quickly as he helped him hobble through the hospital hallway to the waiting room.

“Shh, there are kids here. Don’t you dare curse. Just bite something when it hurts bad.”

“Easy for you to say. Let’s trade places, you bas—”

Daniel muffled his mouth this time all the way until they were seated. He sighed and stretched out his body which ached from carrying a man almost as big and heavy as him from the soccer field all the way there. Jaehwan had fallen and twisted his leg, likely severing a ligament and needing a brace. He wasn’t going to play soccer for awhile which was going to make him bummed. Well, Daniel was the king of being ‘bummed’, that was a vast understatement actually. So he would be preaching to the choir there.

After checking in with the nurse and filling out the form without much help from the groaning, whiney oversized baby he called his best friend, he helped Jaehwan hobble to the doctor’s office. He absently looked over the name plaques and saw an unusual name that he would never forget. ‘Ong’. There were hardly any Ongss in Korea and he had never heard of any other himself. It would be an odd coincidence, though it was possible.

He wondered if maybe there had been an accident at home like Seongwoo cut his finger cutting onions again or spilled hot water on his arm while doing tea. Seongwoo was an infamous clutze and it wouldn’t be the first time that doing daily activities that were simple and safe for normal people put him in the hospital. After dropping off Jaehwan, he went back to the room and stared at the name plaque.

“Ongie…is that you? What happened? Please be okay…” he whispered, touching the plate lovingly like it was his ex-boyfriend’s handsomely beautiful, freckled face which haunted him in every dream he had.

He tapped the shoulder of a passing nurse and smiled wide. “Excuse me, miss. Is this really a mistake? Is there a person in here named Ong?”

The nurse checked her clipboard and nodded. “Yes, odd as it is. Ong Seongwoo. And he’s handsome enough to fit the rare name. He looks like a movie star.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you…”

After she left, Daniel stared at the door with his fingers lightly touching it, debating whether to press it open or not. He could just peek in, he didn’t have to say anything. He would leave once he was sure it wasn’t something really terrible that had happened. If not, it would tear him up with worry.

Just as he was about to push the door, it swung outward. His heart started beating like it was a drum set being banged on. He came face to face with a tall, handsome, fair skinned, dark haired man that resembled a fox though, rather than the man he was hoping to see. It was his ex-friend and his rival, someone he hated with a vengeance still. His impulse was to punch him for the hundredth time but this was a public place and Seongwoo was hurt.

He balled his hands in fists and put them behind his back. He couldn’t smile but at least he controlled himself from his usual scowl when he saw Minhyun.

“Is Seongwoo okay? What happened?” he asked tightly.

Minhyun looked back into the room with hesitation. Daniel mistook it as he didn’t want Daniel to be in on their life or know anything about Seongwoo because he was territorial of his boyfriend. He pulled Minhyun from the door and shoved him to the wall, twisting his collar.

“Listen, you freaking thief. You might have taken away from me and I might haven chosen to leave that house and give him up to you because it seemed like that’s what he was leaning towards wanting, but I never stopped loving or caring about him. I want to, no I need to, no I demand to know what he is doing in here. If you know what is good for you, you will tell me and then I will be in on my way or you can end up in the bed next to him in a full body cast. Especially if I find out you have anything to do with how he got hurt. Got it, pretty boy?”

Minhyun gulped and tapped at his shoulders. “Okay, okay. Calm down. No more bruises, I’m still recovering from our last run-in. I’m modeling now, remember? I will let you know. I was just hesitant because Seongwoo doesn’t want you to know.”

Daniel released him and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. He made up for in build with what he lost in height, he noted proudly. “Well, why not? What would I do with the information? He has you to take care of him. This is for me to rest at ease.”

Minhyun sobered and started at him for several seconds with a dark look in his eyes. “What if I told you that this information would not allow you to rest at all, would you still want to know?”

Daniel faltered, eyes growing wide and his heart racing with fear. “Is it something serious? I want to know. Hurry up and say! What happened to my baby?”

Minhyun smiled slightly at Daniel’s tongue slip. Daniel apologized, saying something about how it was still a habit and he hated that Seongwoo was Minhyun’s baby now but he was on the way to accepting it he swore. Though he still hated Minhyun’s guts currently despite him being a decent guy(besides stuffing his tongue in another man’s boyfriend’s mouth right in front of said man).

“No, let’s clear this misunderstanding. He’s not my baby. He’s still yours and always will be. We were never dating. From the moment he kissed me it was all an act or you misunderstanding things.”

Daniel was dumbfounded and shook his head as if he had water in his ears. “Neh? Explain more. Why would Seongwoo want to act like he was cheating on me?”

Minhyun explained calm and slow and in full detail from the very beginning of the sad, complicated tale. After he had heard it, Daniel barged in to the room and barked at the nurse for her to get out. Minhyun assured her it was someone important and he wouldn’t harm Seongwoo.

Seongwoo was looking at him like he’d seen a ghost or an angel, half in awe and half in terror, torn about how to react. He pulled the blanket and his knees up to his chest and stared down at his twiddling hands, each covered with tape and needles. Daniel took in his image silently for several minutes standing next to his bed. Seongwoo liked totally different than he remembered. He was ghastly pale, gaunt, bruised, darkly circled eyes, and all around sickly. The flush of embarrassment that painted his milky skin was still pretty, as were his long, feathery eye lashes and perfectly groomed brows and charming triangular dots.

“Seongwoo…are you hurt badly?” Daniel asked softly with concern.

“No, no, I’m fine. This is just…this is just…it’s nothing. I’ll be better in a few days…It’s the, er, like a flu…” Seongwoo stammered out a terrible lie.

Daniel snorted and smiled soft yet sad, resting a hand on his arm. Seongwoo visibly shivered and tried to shift away but there was no where for him to run anymore and he was too weak to attempt to, mentally and physically. Just that small touch felt like it was a healing miracle already, bringing life back into his icy cold, lackluster body.

“Stop lying to me, you stubborn brat. It looks like you’ve been through hell and back. I’ve heard everything from Minhyun. Have you been keeping this sickness from me the whole time we knew each other? I don’t recall anything but if I just forgot I’m so, so sorry and…”

Seongwoo shushed him, bopping him on the nose with one finger and finally looking at him with a small smile. “You are forgetful, indeed. But this time it isn’t your fault. I never told you. I kept it a secret from everyone besides my family. I was so good for so long I thought it was completely gone. But I guess it was just lying dormant…”

“It came back worse, huh?” Daniel commented with a sympathetic look and soft, half smile.

Seongwoo nodded. “Much more so…I will be getting surgery.”

Daniel chewed on his lip, looking anxious. “When?”

Seongwoo smiled bitterly. “Tomorrow.”

Daniel’s face fell completely. “Oh…so soon…”

Seongwoo couldn’t look at him then. This was going to be hard to admit to. “Sooner the better. Still the chances aren’t good. That’s why I did all of this.”

“Why you let me think you cheated with Minhyun and didn’t love me anymore, you mean?” Daniel questioned with an almost amused tone.

“Er, yeah…” Seongwoo muttered, flushing like a strawberry.

Daniel let go of the hands he was cradling to fist the blankets, afraid he would hurt Seongwoo as fury came rushing back through him with a vengeance. He wanted to comfort him but he was so angry that Seongwoo hadn’t trusted him and made him look like an idiot.

“Dammit, Seongwoo. All this time we could have stuck together and enjoyed the time we had left. What a waste your idea caused. How could you not trust me? How could you just sacrifice yourself?”

“I didn’t want to make you sad and hurt worse. I figured you would be just angry and then easily get over me if you though I left you and never heard from me again than if you thought god had taken me from you and left you alone…” he muttered, pouting and tearing up with his face down in shame.

Daniel sighed and looked at him for awhile, visibly relaxing as he thought through what Seongwoo said and decided how he should respond to that. Luckily, his anger seemed to quickly fade now that he knew Seongwoo hadn’t ever been cheating on him.

“Alright, I see your point. That’s not fully stupid reasoning either. I appreciate how you cared about me so much. No more crying, please. I can’t take the sight, baby…” Daniel cradled his cheeks and wiped them before pulling the frail man into a gentle embrace.

Seongwoo snuggled into him and sighed softly. “Hmm, this is nice. I missed you.”

Daniel rubbed his back and kissed his temple. “I’m sure you did, you Ongcheongie pabo. I missed you more, believe me. I’m sorry I was a jerk and didn’t look closer at the way you were acting. When I think of it, your actions were a bit strange. I love you, I never ever stopped and I never ever will, no matter what happens…”

“That’s what I was afraid of. If something happens to me, I don’t want you hung up on me and ending up as some cat crazed old man. You should…”

Daniel squeezed him and pressed his mouth more into his shoulder so his voice became muffled. “Shh. We aren’t going to think like that. Only happy thoughts and prayers, Seongwoo-ya. You aren’t going to be leaving my side or replaced by any cats, I promise. We’re going to have a miracle.”

That night, Daniel convinced the nurse to let him stay the night in the room. They stayed up chatting and kissing, making up for lost time, trying to smile and think positively. Mischievous Seongwoo wanted to get Daniel to give him one last love making session just in case he never had a chance after the next day but Daniel was concerned he would lose sleep and stamina that he needed for the surgery for his body to fight properly so he refused. Seongwoo’s ultimate pout was the most adorable thing ever.

 

 

Daniel alternated between biting his fingernails while sitting down and wringing his shirt while pacing as the surgery was taking place. It was oddly calm and quiet in there and the halls eerily silent except for the echo of murmurs and footsteps. Minhyun was bent over his folded hands, staring pensively at the floor like a statue, unmoving the last hour.

Jaehwan was bandaged up and resting still in his room, unable to be there with them by nurse’s order. Minhyun and Jaehwan had been acquainted before so while Daniel stayed with Seongwoo, Minhyun ended up entertaining Jaehwan. On his way to the bathroom, Daniel had went to visit Jaehwan, seeming like he had interrupted some private moment. It seemed that they were hitting it off well. The only reason Minhyun was here was because he cared for Seongwoo and he felt like he needed to be there to keep Daniel calm.

Daniel still didn’t really like him or fully forgive him yet since he still kissed his boyfriend and went along with Seongwoo’s crazy plan for so long. He was of course grateful for being by Seongwoo’s side while he was suffering though. At least Seongwoo had been in comfort and not so lonely up until today. Minhyun did have some sort of calming affect on him. It was nice to know that if he went berserk and tried to rush into the room, there would be someone to physically stop him and put the rationality back in his mind. Daniel wasn’t sure how long surgery was supposed to be taking, but it lasted longer than he thought and that dragged on mentally for much longer than he could bare. He was staring at the door, tugging at his hair.

“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I would rather go back in time to suffer through that time I had four cavities drilled in one day,” he groaned.

Minhyun patted his knee and attempted to smile. “Just keep praying and be glad that everything seems to go well. If something were going wrong, things would get noisy and people would be rushing in and out.”

“Ah, is that s…”

Daniel drifted off, his back shooting straight and eyes bulging as the door opened and blood covered nurses were rushing out. There were more nurses in a corner of the room that had to be where the surgery was taking place but they couldn’t see well with the distance and curtains inside. Daniel bit his lip and Minhyun dug his hands in Daniel’s leg as they watched anxiously.

The heart monitor started beeping wildly. There were barks of orders and frantically moving nurses and assistants. The beeping slowed and quieted. The sound of a defibrillator warming up and being shot came out. Then there was that infamous ‘beep beep bee------p’ that everyone who ever watched a medical drama would know.

Seongwoo’s heart had stopped. Daniel’s paused and then started racing in panic. He shot up, not believing that he had possibly heard that horrid sound. The sounds of increased panic and the defibrillator being warmed up at a higher voltage barked by the doctor came out through the doors that Daniel rushed at. Minhyun was there, trying to hold him back but it was like holding onto a terrified bull bent on escape.

“Seongwoo! Hang in there! I’m here! Don’t you dare leave me! You promised you would fight! It can’t be the last time I see you, it just can’t!” he choked with sobs, straining to get through the doors that capped, gowned, plastic covered nurses were blocking, imploring him to calm down and insisting he couldn’t go in in the middle of surgery no matter the circumstances.

They were feeding him lies about how Seongwoo could bounce back from this easily and he was going to be okay and there was no reason for them to be alarmed so they should both go return to their seats in the waiting area. Daniel and Minhyun both wanted to scream at them and slap them for spilling such bullshit so easily, as if they would easily fall for that and be calmed like children.

“Seongwoo-yah! I love you! Come back to me! Dammit, don’t you go!” Daniel shouted after collapsing to his knees, Minhyun hugging him tight and crying as well though not as hysterically just yet.

From the sounds of the it, Seongwoo was still in cardiac arrest and the doctors were fighting to save his life with all their might. “400 volts, charging…clear! 450 volts, charging….clear! 500 volts, charging…clear!”

 

 

Seongwoo came in and out of a deep sleep for several days. He tried to open his eyes and move his body but he could barely and not enough for anyone to notice before slipping back into oblivion. Some of those moments he was conscious, he heard bits and pieces of conversations going on around him. Most were unfamiliar nurses and his doctor discussing his vitals, any improvements, his medicines, and what to do next.

He learned that he was in a comatose state, not actually asleep, and it was not certain if he would be able to wake up after they brought him back from the brink of death during surgery. Surgery had apparently gone well as he felt better somehow, he just knew it, like the cells in his body were clean and refastening together with stronger bonds than they had before. That was a relief at least. A miracle had actually happened, like him and Daniel had been hoping and praying hard for.

Other voices were familiar and filled him with joy, especially the one that he missed so terribly and was scared he would never hear again outside of his recollections. Daniel was still there like he had promised. He really hadn’t left his side or given up on him. Even after all the pain and frustration he caused by being a foolish, immature brat.

“…he looks better. I just hope he wakes up soon. I’m not going to be greedy for anything else. At least the surgery worked somehow. That’s miracle in enough…”

“How long have you been up, Daniel? Go home and sleep. I’ll take over the watch.”

“You won’t even leave his side a second to help me hobble to the bathroom? Tch…”

“Seongwoo, I love you. I don’t know if you can hear that but please just know that I love you. I’m right here. Keep on fighting. You’re strong, much stronger than me…”

“Why isn’t he showing any signs of waking up? He looks totally normal. He just looks like he’s sleeping…”

“Daniel, you should stop crying. He can probably hear you, the doctor said. We shouldn’t give him stress. Only positive, encouraging words. We have to bring him back to us…”

“I can tell you a funny story, Ong. Or play you a song? You always did like my guitar. Hmm, what was your favorite? Ah, September by Daughtry right.”

“Thanks, Jae. Seongwoo liked that, I’m sure. Didn’t you baby? He likes Everglow too. It reminds him of a letter…”

“Ah, luckily I happen to know that one, even just a bit.”

“Haa…How I miss your voice, singing and talking and even nagging. I just miss all of you. Won’t you come back baby? I need you…”

“Daniel, why did you bring that? You really think that he’s going to come back for his seal and snacks?”

“Maybe he misses them more. I was being a royal jerk to him before we broke up and was clueless as to what he was doing. I should have known something like this was going on, the way he’s always sacrificing himself for the ‘greater good’ like this. I’m an idiot, and he’s an angel, who hopefully hasn’t returned to heaven just yet…I refuse to let him go and I’m not ready to say goodbye…”

The music he liked with poetic, beautiful, deep lyrics was comforting and some of the conversations comical, the bickering that happened between the worried discussions about him. It was torture to hear Daniel missing him and beating up on himself and sounding so desperately on the edge and lonely but unable to do anything about it. He tried with all his might to open his eyes or at least get his throat to make some kind of sound. He wanted to comfort Daniel and let him know that he was present and listening and not brain dead at least. All he could do was fight against the darkness, pray for his condition to improve quickly, and soak in that lovely, accented voice as he waited for the coma to pass.

 

 

“Hmm…”

Seongwoo opened his eyes and tried to sit up. Finally, he was conscious and gathered enough strength to make movements and sounds, even the primal, most minimal ones. He could let people know he was alive and well. Jeez, that had been like being at war, just with himself.

“Oh my god.”

Minhyun jumped forward and ran to the bed, the chair he was sitting in falling to the side in his haste. His handsome face wore a completely stunned, delightful look.

“Hmm…wh…” Seongwoo tried to ask where he was and where Daniel was but it was harder than he thought to speak. His throat was dry and stung when he actually tried to force out words, though he knew he could actually do it.

“Holy shit, it’s real this time. Seongwoo! You’re awake, aren’t you?” Minhyun grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly with a hopeful tone.

“Ye…ah…hmm…”

“Thank god! We’ve been waiting for you for weeks. Finally, you’re back! I should get Daniel right away. He’s going to be ecstatic but also so bummed he wasn’t the first person you saw. Gotta hurry, where’s that darn phone, Jaehwan was playing a game on it and now…”

“No! N..ot…ye….t…” Seongwoo forced himself to get out.

Minhyun sat on the bed and held his hands, looking at him curiously. He started guessing about why he wouldn’t want to see Daniel just yet until he got it right.

“Ah, so you’re worried about your looks. What a romantic, as always, Ongcheongie. How could you think any of that was important after the hell you two have been through the last few months?”

Seongwoo looked down, feeling shy and embarrassed. He loved Daniel and it was their reunion. He didn’t want to appear ugly. He didn’t want to make Daniel regret having waited all this time for him.

Minhyun laughed and searched around until he found his phone, patting his leg gently. “Arasso, arasso. I will show you. To be honest, the rest has done you well. The surgery and medicine too. Your hiar is lustrous and your skin is glowing and you gained weight.”

Seongwoo touched his face with his eyes popped out. Minhyun chuckled and brushed his cheek fondly, pinching the flesh. “You’re not fat, don’t worry. You just look healthy compared to recently that’s all. You look human again. It’s a good thing.”

Seongwoo relaxed and smiled, feeling relieved. Then he slowly pointed at Minhyun’s phone. He wanted Minhyun to show him through the camera what he looked like. He didn’t fully believe the guy. He resembled a fox after all and those animals were infamous tricksters. Minhyun rolled his eyes and smirked as he held up the phone.

“I see you are back to your normal self, humor attached. I certainly did miss this version, as aggravating as he can be. Look. As illegally, inhumanly gorgeous as ever. How can you look fine even in these horrid gowns? You’re going to go getting all arrogant again,” he joked with a fakely bitter tone.

After Seongwoo checked his appearance and was satisfied with it, he nodded. He couldn’t wait a second more to see Daniel.

“Call…him…” he choked out huskily.

“You got it. He’s going to be so thrilled. You are about to see a kangaroo burst in and entertain you. Careful not to bust your stitches laughing and being happy.”

Seongwoo was already smiling from ear to ear as if a hanger was pushed in his mouth. A few minutes later, there were steps sounding down the hallway of people running. In the door, burst Daniel, breathless, blonde hair mussed, red faced, and sweaty. He stared hard at Seongwoo for a moment, making Seongwoo feel shy. Then, Seongwoo moved to hold his arms open and smiled.

“Nie…llie…” he managed to get out, his tone welcoming and full of love.

Daniel then smiled brightly, his eyes glistening with tears. He rushed to the bed and enveloped his boyfriend in his arms.

“Oh, my god, Seongwoo…you’re awake, you’re really awake…you came back to me…thank you so much…I can’t believe it. Miracles can happen, I suppose.”

“We made them happen, Daniel. Through prayer. And Seongwoo because he was so strong. Or his love for you was that strong he didn’t want to let you go.”

Minhyun patted their shoulders with love and then left them alone, probably going to see where his boyfriend Jaehwan had wondered off to. Daniel set Seongwoo down on the bed and held his hands as he looked him all over. Seongwoo was flushed and smiling shyly, feeling tingly under his intense, caring stare.

“Are you feeling okay? Does anything hurt? Is there anything I can get you? Shoot, you must not be able to talk and you must be hungry and thirsty. I don’t know the code for after you wake up. I should get the nurse…”

Daniel was blabbering, which amused Seongwoo. He chuckled lightly. Daniel froze and beamed at the sound, clearly ecstatic that Seongwoo wasn’t broken. Seongwoo squeezed his hands and shook his head just a miniscule amount when he tried to go. Daniel chuckled and leaned in to softly peck his forehead, both of them closing their eyes and relishing in the little moment.

“Okay, I got you. I will stay here a bit longer since that’s what you desire more than food and water. We can still read each other’s minds I see. Us scientists. Guess your brain’s fully functioning, thank god.”

Seongwoo lifted his head and stared at him warmly, asking for something silently. Daniel nuzzled and kissed all over his face, savoring his lips for last. It was sweet, even if Seongwoo’s lips were terribly chapped.

"What's the password, pussy cat? If I say, 'Nuguseyo?', what should you say?"

“I…love…you…” Seongwoo whispered.

“That's right! Oh, thank god, you're really all right~ I love you too baby. More than anything in the whole world. Thank you for coming back and giving us a second chance. I’m going to be the best boyfriend in the world this time around.”

“You…are…already…” Seongwoo insisted slowly, reaching up to sort of cup Daniel’s cute, blissfully happy, widely smiling face, though he couldn’t move his fingers well yet.

Daniel blushed up to the tips of his ears and laughed, his almond eyes crinkling up until they almost closed and dimples popping out in his fluffy cheeks that were a little less fluffy from stress and lack of sleep. “That was always you, baby. You’re the perfect one. I’ll try really hard to be though as well. Anything you want, anytime, anywhere. Anytime, anywhere~”

Seongwoo smiled and nodded. Then, pursed his lips out for anther kiss. Daniel leaned in slowly and turned at the very last minute to kiss his cheek. Seongwoo whined and pouted, giving the cutest ‘hing’ face in existence. Daniel chuckled and gave him what he wanted—a real kiss full of adoration and promises.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for my friend Tanti. It's inspired by the mv and song Haru Haru by Big Bang mixed with Tanti unni's ideas. I just tried to bring the angst to life. This is my first attempt at ongniel angst (taken over from my one-shot series). Sorry not sorry if I made you cry. I wanted to try angst here and there after all. Not sure if I'm any good at it but this I think is a pretty good attempt. I cried a lot watching the Haru Haru mv and think that this sort of plot line in dramas or movies or fics is so depressing huhuhu. Tear jerker~ 
> 
> Thanks to Tanti unni for being a great friend and a loyal reader for so long. I love you to the moon and back and every star between <3


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